Jimmy Smith: Just Short of Beating the Bellator MMA 138 Conspiracy Out of You

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By Dave Madden @DMaddenMMA

Jimmy Smith, formerly a professional fighter and currently Bellator MMA’s commentator appeared as a special guest on Stand and Bang Radio. Not far removed from the controversy of Bellator MMA 138, headlined by Kimbo Slice (5-2-0) and Ken Shamrock (28-16-2), being a fixed-fight or not, Smith played the role of a counselor in the west-wing of the loony-bin during his time with a pair of nuts, the hosts of Stand and Bang Radio: host, Aaron Robbins, and co-host, Fred Kirby; Smith gathered up all the non-believers, conspiracy theorists, and fruitcakes traveled them through the shmorgishborg of medications: pinks, blues, and purples, individualized instruction and care, before giving up hope and locking them in a padded room-it’s safer for all that way.

Neil Melanson | MMAjunkie

As stated, Smith is Bellator MMA’s commentator, as well as a highly regarded source of knowledge within the MMA community. If you’ve never had the luxury of sitting in a seat as near as Smith finds himself while commentating, you haven’t lived. Don’t go all 5150 and try to kill yourself over the fact that you can’t understand how incredible the action, force, and magnitude of what’s broadcasted to screens across the world. Smith remembered what he recalled about the St. Louis evening in question, causing such a stir amongst those whose stability was already questionable,

“What I saw was a 51 year old man who did the best he could.”

Right away, the nay-sayers are already lashing back and screaming at their podcast players that it had to be a fix:

Calmly, Smith sat back in his chair, and he also asked you, the fan who continues seeing black helicopters circling, to close your eyes and imagine. Smith laid out a potential interaction between Kimbo and Shamrock to rig their matchup,

“I want to really get into this.” Are your eyes closed? Smith sets the scene, “Ken goes to Kimbo and says, ‘Alright, I want to have a work. I’m the betting underdog, but I want to have a work in this fight.’ Kimbo, who believes he can win and is the betting favorite-who has no financial incentive to take a work-agrees to a work. He [Ken] says, ‘I’m going to take you down, get both hooks in, put you in a rear-naked choke, but don’t worry…I’m going to let you go.’”

Kimbo Slice was a YouTube sensation who paraded into backyards and dished out punishment with his bare-knuckles. It’s a huge leap to imagine a competitor with such a rawness being in favor of such a deal. Have you forgotten some of Kimbo’s past work, fighting in rings bordered by fencing (not the Dynamic Fastener kind), sidewalk, and rosebushes?

Smith continued,

“If you are Kimbo, you have to be insane to take that offer. You are the betting favorite. All Ken has to do is hang on and choke you out…Are you really going to agree to this deal, in a fight you believe you can win? That is insane!”

Those patients who weren’t present when medications were sifted and passed out may be experiencing some mental distress. They can’t believe Smith’s fictional tale, and they scream for the nurse to make him take it back. LIAR! At the risk of further fanning the flames of these lunatics, Smith attempted to lower their defenses by showing them others can understand their perspective, opening the possibilities of changing hears and minds,

“What I think people are seeing is a guy who is way past his physical prime, who was never that technical in his prime-by the way, go in for a choke, couldn’t get it, and as soon as he took his shot, retirement sounded pretty good.”

Well, you saw Bellator MMA 138’s video proof for yourself; you actually wore out your index finger, furiously clicking refresh on the fight’s replay. People also saw Bigfoot, The Loch Ness Monster, and Jesus on a banana peel.
http://www.buzzfeed.com/arielknutson/people-who-found-jesus-in-their-food#.hiW5G5RG2

In discussing with the other staff in the psych ward’s staff room, Smith noted that some of the patients were still repeating, meaning another battery of tests may need to be issued,

“People say, ‘Ah, it looked fishy; the way he walked in was fishy. He [Shamrock] choked out Bas Rutten.’”

Smith proclaimed he’d attempt one last time to slap the truth into the minds of these folks before taking more drastic measures,

“This is a guy [Shamrock] who was 51 years old and never technical to begin with, [and] he choked out Bas Rutten when I was a junior in high school.”

Facts are facts, and this honestly alleviated considerable symptoms, the perfect dosage: The last rear-naked choke completed by Shamrock was when he participated in Pancrase: Road to the Championship 5 in 1994, and Smith was a junior in high school in 1995, the crease in his brow from having to have such a discussion revealing the truth in age when Shamrock defeated Rutten. Many thought the wing’s participants were more apt to reside in reality, so Smith ushered them to the carpet and diagnosed their abnormality, instructing what future treatments will entail:

“We have this idea when we see Ken that it’s the old Ken, and it’s not. And when those things don’t line-up, we scream, ‘FIX!’ You just go, ‘Dude…It’s not the same guy you remember seeing!’”

There are always going to be those at the top of the triangle, the most needy and unrelenting, and Smith, with one last effort, administered his most intense intervention available: role playing the inner-workings of a negotiation a fighter may sit through for their next fight following the fix. Hopefully, you’ll understand,

“If Bellator came to me; Rich Chou, the matchmaker, comes to me and says, ‘Hey, this fight’s a work.’ If I don’t punch him in the face (which I would), you don’t want to be around for my next contract negotiations, do you? Because I will sit in that boardroom with Viacom and say, ‘Hey, guess what I was told? I want three million dollars a year!’ Anyone you go to with a fix has you by the fucking balls.’”

Good, you look calmer and more willing to cooperate. Had you not, the next step would be a lobotomy and removal from TV privileges during MMA events. Crisis averted!

Check out this episode of Stand and Bang Radio and others at:

soundcloud.com/standandbangmma/stand-and-bang-w-jimmy-smith-m

Photos by:

Neil Melanson via MMA Junkie

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